Ten Dollar Cat
Meet Zamboni, the $10 Cat.
"I HAS MY OWN WebsPAGE!" - Mr. Boni
Iz me.
Iz me.
In a bagz
Me again.
Me again.
So much bagz
Me juz chillin.
Me juz chillin.
My legz so long
Diz Mojo. He friend, but goofball.
Diz Mojo. He friend, but goofball.
Oh-K.
Oh-K.
Get ready, here diz.
Get ready, here diz.
Story time!
Story time!
"Becoming a Confident Golden House-Tiger"
"Becoming a Confident Golden House-Tiger"
(Sumtimes called "The speshul orange cat whose did not know hiz name")
(Narrated by me, Mr. Boni)
Wunz pon time...
Wunz pon time...
...there wuz a little orange kitten who didn't know hiz name. (Hiz name Mojo, but he didn't know that.)
When heez a baby kitten, he had some problems.
When heez a baby kitten, he had some problems.
Heez got a rooster foot and itz so sad (and funny)
Heez got a rooster foot and itz so sad (and funny)
Then tharz time he jumped in the hooman litter bowl.
Then tharz time he jumped in the hooman litter bowl.
So gross.
So gross.
But heez got tuff luv and training from hiz big brudder (Iz me)
But heez got tuff luv and training from hiz big brudder (Iz me)
Lots of kangaroo kicks and beatings on hiz butt.
Lots of kangaroo kicks and beatings on hiz butt.
And sumtime flop-on-top snugs.
And the kitten grew. But he didn't know hiz name.
And the kitten grew. But he didn't know hiz name.
"Uzz me! My name uzz Ricky Bobby?" the baby kitten said. "Uzzz no wanna go fast."
"Uzz me! My name uzz Ricky Bobby?" the baby kitten said. "Uzzz no wanna go fast."
"Uzz my name Pancake?" the lil' brudder cat azked.
"Uzz my name Pancake?" the lil' brudder cat azked.
And the orange one continued to grow.
(Notable growth by the day).
He as'plored caves and holes and spendz lots a time sleepin'. And growin'. But he still didn't know hiz name.
"Uzz my name Chunky Monkey?" he asked. "Uzz don't screech like a monkey."
"Uzz my name Chunky Monkey?" he asked. "Uzz don't screech like a monkey."
"Uzz my name Squeakers?" he asked.
"Uzz my name Squeakers?" he asked.
"No, Uzz just gotta say hello when U'm hungry."
"No, Uzz just gotta say hello when U'm hungry."
And the orange one got bolder and kept growing. Wide and tall and strong.
Like Ox-cat.
"Uzz my name BigMo?" he asked.
"Uzz my name BigMo?" he asked.
And heez finally getting warmer.
And heez finally getting warmer.
"Uzz my name Mojo?
"Uzz my name Mojo?
Yes, My name uzz Mojo!" the confident tiger said. "Mojo the house tiger."
Yes, My name uzz Mojo!" the confident tiger said. "Mojo the house tiger."
And heez finally got it right.
And heez finally got it right.
Diz my goofball friend, Mojo the Confident Golden House-Tiger!
Diz my goofball friend, Mojo the Confident Golden House-Tiger!
And Mojo's best hooman-friend, M'bly.
And Mojo's best hooman-friend, M'bly.
(I call her Food Bowl Refiller)
(I call her Food Bowl Refiller)
And now me and Mojo Iz together
And now me and Mojo Iz together
Becuz two iz better than One. And Mojo is a big soft pancake.
The Endz.
The Endz.